I want to be a CD/TV prostitut : by More by Anonymous User
submitted Saturday Jan 02nd, 2010
Xrated
I am a long time, semi-passable crossdresser with a secret and unrelenting desire to become a CD/TV prostitute. It doesn't make sense since I have a good, respectable job with no money problems, so it's not for the cash. I can get sex anytime I want just by putting a personal ad online. I don't have a strong sex drive, nor have I ever used the services of a prostitute. There's no logical reason to become a full time whore when I can get almost the same results by picking up one or two men a week and not risking my admitted easy life.
But I seem to crave the degradation and humiliation that would come from leaving my respectable niche in the world and selling my body to an endless string of anonymous men for their sexual gratification. I want to be able to honestly tell someone... everyone!.. that I am a prostitute. For some reason that is what I feel I should be. Even my fantasies revolve around my deliberate slide into the abyss of emotional degradation and sexual servitude. Offering my body to be used by *real men* for mere cash consumes my thoughts.
And, yes, I've actually looked on occasion for someone to turn me out on the street. I've been searching for a transsexual Madam with experience in making acceptable working girls out of willing subjects. I would want her to crush any remaining signs of maleness out of me and make me live full time as a non-op TG woman. Fill my closet with mostly "fuck me" clothes. Tweak my slutty looks so men would willingly pay for me to kneel in front of them. Advertise me online with pics and rates and lists of services provided. Do in-calls and out-calls as she dictates. I would be one of her girls with no other means of support except by selling my body.
Fortunately, I have not found her yet. Which is good since even now I know I would jump at a genuine chance to be a real working transvestite prostitute. I want... no, need... to feel the humiliation of being an ultra feminine male whose only purpose in life is to take care of the carnal needs of *real men*. Oh, yes, I definitely would do this, part time at least, even knowing that it is a dangerous life with nothing positive to be said about it. I've considered going it alone but I don't want to be bothered with the details of finding johns. I just want to be told where to go and what to do and perform as directed without thinking.
But the reality is that if I ever surrender to this craving it would be the start of a death spiral. Once I start feeding this deep emotional need to be used, even a little, I would probably crave it more and more until it truly does become the entire rationale for my existence. At least, in my mind. What a scary thought!
What makes a guy who has had an easy life want to chuck it all away to become a transvestite prostitute? What's wrong with my psyche that being a hooker is the only profession I have any desire to become? Do I need to do this and hit rock bottom before I finally wake up to reality? And would I be able to claw my way out of this life if I succumb to the need?
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