spying on my fiance : by More by anom1234
submitted Monday May 26th, 2008
Obsessions
I have developed an extremely unhealthy habit in my relationship with my fiance. Unbeknownst to her, I have installed onto our computer a key logging spy software which let me see all her activities and passwords. Since then, I have read all of her accounts: m y space, fa ce book, g mail, everything... I hate myself because I have read very candid and personal letters and correspondence between her and her ex lovers. Logically, I know that they have nothing to do with me b/c she didnt even know me then, but I still find myself incredibly jealous. I hate myself for lying to her like this. I have even found nude photos of her that she sent to her ex... I didnt lie to her in the beginning of our relationship, but now I feel more and more obsessed and its awful! The spy program has been gone for a while, but the rest of the information from that program still exists. Today I will make up some excuse and tell her to change all her passwords so that I will no longer be able to keep these tabs on her, but Im scared I have already done irreparable harm to the relationship. We are both attractive people and I have also had lovers before, so it’s not like there is a profound disparity in balance in the relationship. We are smart, I am well off and working. I will not tell her about my activities, but I have felt my soul being blackened by my actions. As of today I stop, but does our relationship stand a chance? I dont know where these insecurities come from; I really want to marry this woman. I do love her, and I know that what I have done is horribly wrong and misguided. We all have baggage and loose ends, but for my sake, I hope I can move past this... Help...
Comments on spying on my fiance
OK : if you are sure that you are done with the spying then you are safe to continue your relationship...if you think you will spy on her yet again that do not take the step of marriage...you need to stop what you are doing cause it is not healthy for you...what you have sounds like an obsession..im a married girl and if i found this out of my husband it would be over cause marriage without trust sucks in the worse way...take my word for it by Anonymous Commentor on Tuesday Jul 22nd, 2008
You are pathetic... : Dude you need to see a therapist. You have control issues that will only get worse. You are a wife beater waiting to happen. You crossed a line you should have never crossed unless she wanted you to. I doubt you guys will make it cause of your extreme jealousy (Yes thats what it is buddy!!).
Already you have to have a balance of people you and her have had sex with. Your soul was already black and pretty much dead to begin with.
You are a narssicis and everything is about you. Do this woman a favor and break it off. Move on and get help. You NEED it.
by Anonymous Commentor on Tuesday Jul 21st, 2009
! : i do the same i have recently got engaged and i split with my partner several months before because she actually said she didnt love me! she still loved her ex!
I still had a jelousy thing constantly checking her phone; asking her questions, but i know she wasnt, but i still wasnt convinced with myself, from the heartbrake months before, i guess you gotta live with the fact of, there is no perfect marrige, trust and jelousy can always easily slip out of your hands and fukin splat everywhere!!! good luck by Anonymous Commentor on Thursday Aug 20th, 2009
: I do this to my boyfriend, although he has given me all his passwords because he would rather be open and show me he can be trusted. He didn\'t have to do this and I have never been like this before with previous partners. Although he got back with an ex after a day of us breaking up after he said he was over her, loved me ect.. So yes we got back together, yes I have trust issues but am no longer intrested on checking on him..but I do know it can turn into an obsession and you think if you feel this way, something must b going on..I trust my boy completely now. by Anonymous Commentor on Monday Sep 07th, 2009
: I do this to my boyfriend, although he has given me all his passwords because he would rather be open and show me he can be trusted. He didn\'t have to do this and I have never been like this before with previous partners. Although he got back with an ex after a day of us breaking up after he said he was over her, loved me ect.. So yes we got back together, yes I have trust issues but am no longer intrested on checking on him..but I do know it can turn into an obsession and you think if you feel this way, something must b going on..I trust my boy completely now. by on Monday Sep 07th, 2009
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